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Here’s how to spot the 9 traits of borderline personality disorder (BPD).
MedCircle host Kyle Kittleson sat down with Dr. Ramani Durvasula to discuss how to spot the 9 traits of a highly misunderstood mental health condition, borderline personality disorder.
She answers:
What are the trademarks of borderline personality disorder?
What does it feel like to have borderline personality disorder?
How is BPD different from other personality disorders?
How is BPD different than bipolar disorder?
What are the 9 traits of borderline personality disorder?
Do you have to have all 9 traits to receive a BPD diagnosis?
Dr. Ramani ends the interview with tips for helping a loved one who might have borderline personality disorder.
If you think a friend or family member is considering suicide, express your concern and seek help immediately. If you are feeling suicidal, call 1-800-273-TALK in the U.S. or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth #MedCircle
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Watch our full video series on working through the highs & lows of BPD (featuring Dr. Ramani) HERE: https://bit.ly/2Cg6uHT
BPD is an emotional cancer.
All of this is true … and can also be not true. A lot of these symptoms, including mood instability, are present in other conditions that are NOT mood or personality disorders. Anxiety can cause huge over-reactions and interpersonal problems, both bipolar and ADHD can present with impulsivity, mood instability and low frustration tolerance. These things can be confused with the BPD versions of the same symptoms. Please don’t go around trying to diagnose people in your lives. That kind of behavior is toxic. If you really think someone has a problem they need help for, try to encourage them to seek help for their own sake. The minute you start trying to diagnose someone, whether to their face or behind their back, you’re doing them and yourself a disservice. These videos are super useful in educating and as a jumping off point but there’s a tendency for people to think “oh I watched this video and am qualified to diagnose my partner now.” NO YOU ARE NOTA lol. Don’t do it. Like she says in the video: the purpose of diagnosis is not to label. The number of times people watch these kinds of videos and then are like “oh my partner is bipolar” or “my partner has an attachment disorder” or “my partner is a narcissist” is getting out of control. Leave diagnosis to the professionals. Even they get it wrong half the time lol. The average time for CORRECT diagnosis on a lot of these things is 5-10 years so please don’t be so foolhardy as to think you’re qualified after a 30 min video. Lastly I’d like to say I disagree that cutting and other forms of self harm should be lumped in with suicidal ideation. Cutting, for example, is often about control and about release of emotions. There are many people who cut who aren’t suicidal at all. If someone you love is cutting then they should get help and they might be suicidal. Don’t assume they are though, and don’t over-react or you could just cause them to be better at hiding their distress.
Thank you for doing this. Dr. Ramani is amazing, too. Very knowledgeable!
Yeah that sucks because my loved one will not commit to intensive therapy
BPD is an urge to act how you feel, but knowing you shouldn’t get overwhelmed by it even dough it’s very strong emotions, that we know other’s don’t feel as strong or remember as such.
It’s like gun powder, but where the bullet fires needs work, thats the best way i have understood my BPD
Dr Ramani- you are brilliant!!
Amazing! Thanks to both of you. My psychiatrist sent me your channel info.
Very informative! I'm a diagnosed BPD and ADHD. Unfortunately, I have the 9 traits. It's the most exhausting and painful of lives. Yoga, meditation, music, reading etc., have been helping me a lot! Though everyday is a mysterious battle 🙁
Thank you!!! 🙏❤️
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for this video.
Thank you for these videos
I have 4 out of 8 traits.
No one is going to diagnose you with BPD even if you lay it on a silver platter for them. I had to do it myself after sacrificing my mental health for a year to see if any dimwit psychs could get it. Now they see. And so I get an intake and they ask how I feel how I feel, well, the first thing you should know about BPD is that we don’t feel, we think and we dissociate. We feel literally pain in the body but I couldn’t tell you what emotions. Then the world is hypocrites because they want you to have emotion but then you’re outcast when you do. Or they say just leave this unhealthy person but they don’t know that that unhealthy person could be Anybody. Anybody could be the enemy. So your friends are wrong, but then you can’t say they’re wrongs. You’re constantly trapped. I was misdiagnosed for decades. What if DBT doesn’t help. What if it works for everyone else but then ur a freak of it doesn’t. How can I keep trusting therapists at all if for 25 years they saw something right in front of them and then made me feel like I just had a bad attitude and was mean. Cuz that’s all I am right?? You would think that you could give a hint of a reason behind this for a start, as in please ffs diagnose someone if they have this! If my sibling was hurting from a bladder stone I wouldn’t just tell them “you’re too sensitive”, and likewise with BPD I wouldn’t just tell someone “you’re too sensitive”, cuz I would Know that they had an illness, such as with said bladder stones. Let alone let someone know their diagnosis for gee whiz maybe they want to relate to someone else who has it?! Ffs
You forget to mention that you can also have Borderline in a minor degree. You are very generalising. I do have an emotional Borderline disorder, mening that i feel emotions 1000 times stronger than “normal” people. I don’t get angry, sad or happy in an hour, but if i forexamble get sad, i feel it deeply inside for a couple of days. You are talking about the heavy Borderline types, as if everyone with Borderline behaves just as you describe? They don’t! Not everybody thrives of drama and fighting? I myself like life calm and i hate drama…
This video describes BPD perfectly.
I’ve experienced everything the doctor was talking about…..I was diagnose in 1998 after being referred to a psychiatrist by my doctor for suspected Bipolar disorder (was know as Manic depression at the time).
The psychiatrist quickly made the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder after talking to me and members of my family.
I was a teenager when I was diagnosed.
The TREATMENT would play right in to my Covert Narcisist Psychopath /Sociopath husband's little games of STORIES, STORIES, STORIES and he'd go to therapy just to stair at and fantasize about anything remote close to desirable, based on his mood for FOOD at the time. Sounds like the treatment would play right in to his game .. hopefully there's no YOUNG GIRLS there.. omg…
My sister in law was clinically diagnosed with BPD at a young age. She was abandoned as an infant and in a Russian orphanage until age 3 when she was adopted by my abusive in-laws who didn’t know how to handle her diagnosis, even with therapy and guidance. They thought that therapy was going to “fix” her and they didn’t think they needed to change at all.
Holy god help me thats exactly like me i have the nine freaking traits
I’m tired of being a toxic whore . I wish I was just fine with being alone .
Yeah…. That's me….. But trigger me the most is abandoment when I expact them
I'm curious to know more about her explanation on the mood changes. She said that borderline personality disorder could go from sad and crying to happy and laughing in the same hour. My first thought is, so something makes me sad am I supposed to be sad all day? This is why I would like more insight on that particular statement
I have been living with this for a long time. I have been self aware of my disorder for 8 years now. Now I am ready to learn how to be successful in life now I need to learn how to cope.
I cried through 3/4 of this I’m 34 years old and I thought half of this my whole life if not 3/4 of it it really sucks to not know who you are or how you feel and just stuck on a circle
i laught at people who r sad, i think being sad is stupid. I get sad but i dont like to be. I laugh wjen people are hurt. I ocxassionally show remorse. I know i jave a problem.
You are in better shape than most!!! 💪
She’s describing 50 % people changing their appearance lol and now changing their sex
i’m glad you’re bringing more awareness however, as someone with bpd the way you talk about the disorder makes me feel like a bad person for having it
When I listen to all these things I’ve come to realization that everyone on this planet earth have some type of mental illness!!
Id like to see pmdd factored into these conversations
I believe i could have been considered bpd without consideration of my hormonal cycle but i do not see pmdd spoken about. Women are undergoing voluntary hysterectomies bc of the severity of the symptoms.
Kyle Kittleson is almost as good a Jiminy Glick.
Such people with BPD are not convinced that they have real real challenge and are therefore not willing to seek professional help.
My dad and I both show like a lot of these signs😃
What was the movie she recommended to watch?
Wow, this video describes a liberal democrat perfectly
The way she describes bipolar just sounds like every drug addict I've ever known
Hi, just mentioning that ASD is often misdiagnosed with BPD and Bipolar 2 in women. I was misdiagnosed with these two things when it was actually ASD (autism spectrum disorder), something that does not require meds. I am NOT saying that this is true with everyone, please, definitely not. BUT it is extremely common. ASD is actually WAY more common than people think. And NO, it’s not because of vaccines. And NO there isn’t an “epidemic”, it’s that we haven’t known enough about it. I have NEVER had a manic episode IN MY LIFE. EVER. Not even hypomania. Yet I’m diagnosed with Bipolar 2. My moods fluctuate because of my sensory issues, not because of anything else. I have abandonment issues because of the amount of death and trauma in my life. My dad moved across the country when I was a child, my big brother died, my boyfriend literally left me at work when we lived in Wyoming, went home, packed up all his shit and moved back to Maine, changed his phone number immediately and didn’t tell me, while I was struggling with alcoholism. My “abandonment issues” are completely related to REAL trauma I’ve been through. The impulsiveness that I deal with is from the ADHD I’ve had since before I was in Kindergarten. It’s REALLY common for these things to be confused and misdiagnosed. So it’s really scary that people are being misdiagnosed with something that requires intense meds and therapy when ASD/ADHD needs so much less. Often it just needs to be acknowledged and researched. I BARELY have any of these traits, and if I do, I can tell you EXACTLY where they came from: what piece of trauma, what was affecting me in my life at that time, etc. If you end up with these diagnoses and they don’t feel right, PLEASE look into Autism Spectrum Disorder and ADHD. I’m not saying Dr. Ramani is wrong, because I love her and her info is GREAT, but I just wanted to warn people because it’s EXTREMELY common for these things to be misdiagnosed when it’s actually ASD and ADHD.
Thank you YT for recommending these vids! This doctor is amazing and I could listen to her all day. I also know someone with undiagnosed BPD.
Wow she is wonderful
I have 6 of the 9
A whole lot of words to say nothing.
By this description I portray all of these traits and more.
I’m not borderline
Cap!
When someone cuts you off in traffic, you want to rip their throat out. Haha
Especially if they are upset.
Ridiculous
Well after watching this video I don't think I have BPD. I have the opposite of almost all these symptoms, Im not scared of abandonment in fact I prefer to be alone, and I'm never impulsive I overthing and overplan everything. I think I'm just normal but strange, and I don't know if that's better or worse
My Mom who I believe has BPD, will periodically start accuring me of stealing her photos. It will go away & then under stress she will out of the blue start accusing me again. She also will accuse her house cleaner of sneaking in her house at night & rearranging her makeup & face products. Comes & goes. Now I know why!
"When the truth is found… to be lies. Then all the joy within you dies"
-jefferson airplane
-Borderline personality disorder
My entire perceived existence changes daily. Sometimes hourly. Idk if you guys can understand this but it’s A LITERAL LIVING HELL INSIDE MY HEAD 😢
Thank you. I think you've just described my partner. I've been very confused trying to pin down what the problem is. I've even thought she was a narsasust. I am wondering what can cause bpd as she has a history of trauma and abuse from her early years. I've stuck around even though she makes me dizzy and sometimes feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I know she fears being abandoned and many a time ive felt like leaving but I'm still here. I have feared that she may be a narsasist, and have stood up to stuff many times in my defence. But now I'm starting to think that maybe that's not the right thing to do and may make her feel worse. In my defence,, it's been lack of knowledge and lots of confusion I suppose . Oh well, see how we go now i have gained insight from this very educational video. Thank you.
Worked with women with BPD, must say that is was very difficult population to work with. Many difficulties but most pronounced was the constant threat of legal action they felt compelled to take. I did not have the issues personally but witnessed many other staff members go through this. Many of the women I worked with had other issues as well bipolar, depression and health issues. They do go through it perceived or real it's hard on them.
that guy doing the interview is an egomaniac – dude, STOP TALKING you are so distracting and nobody wants to hear all about you
I wish this exact information was in Spanish
I feel a lot of this however I was diagnosed with DID/Multiple personality disorder at 7 years old. Thank you for sharing.
This guy is absolutely insufferable and so disrespectful. Bragging about how he doesn’t have bpd (the comment about not showing his anger) and then comparing people that have bpd to literal animals. really professional dude